So far...

So far this morning, I: baked a peach blueberry cobbler, made a sign to embarass Christy when we pick her up at the airport, ate a delicious breakfast (mixed berry yogurt with blueberries and strawberries and a whole wheat waffle with peanut butter), straightened the apartment, and cleaned the kitchen. And it is only 8:30!

It's mornings like this that I love.

Fruits of my Farmer's Markey labor

Just a quick little note about my amazingly fruitful (no pun intended) trip to the farmer's market. First on the list: CSA pick-up.... I got amazingly yummy looking tomatoes, three different kinds of summer squash (yuuuummm), radishes, and four big plump potatoes for baked potatoes on mom and dad's birthday lunch this Saturday. This makes the menu for their visit: steamed shrimp- big fat ones caked in Old Bay, grilled squash (see CSA pickup above!) and yummy yummy baked potatoes. I had initially decided to make a nectarine plum buckle for their birthday "cake" but come to find out nectarines are already out of season and my local farm won't be having any plums this season. So I decided to use the same Martha Stewart recipe but substitute peaches and blackberries. Hopefully it will work well but we will see. Needless to say, my trip to the farmer's market also yielded super juicy peaches and amazing blackberries. Finally, I treated myself to a pre-made bundle of flowers and an Emmy-made bunch of zinnias that I have spread throughout the apartment. OH and I almost forgot, on the way out Kyle picked out an amazing strawberry nectarine jam.

Overall, I have to say.... this basically made my day. The fact that Kyle came with me was just an added bonus!

Just a quick moment to post some shots of the light last night. It comes into my dining room at just the right angle at just the right time and it lights up the entire apartment. I always dreamed of a light-filled home and it might not be exactly how I wanted, but here I am with a home filled with gorgeous setting sun kind of light.

Starting again...

So here I am, starting again. I don't want to write a long explanation of why I can't seem to blog on a regular basis or why I am trying another go at it. I want to create a space to do as I please when I please. I hope to be able to post regularly. I hope to post an image from my day, whether it is a breakfast shot, an out and about shot, or an evening light capturing image. I hope to post the little bits that inspire me or touch me. I hope to be able to be full, rich, honest, genuine, enough in this space.

Perfect Perfectionist

mmmm... so I have been putting off this blog for a while and even worse, I have been putting off being my real self here. I have so many fears of judgment and rejection when I think about writing my truth in such a public medium. I really am such a private person with most of the world that it feels against my nature to broadcast who I am, where I am, what I am feeling, or even just what I am really thinking about. I think I'm just going to start out slowly. I am way too scared to just jump in with both feet, so today's post will be a start...

Where I am today is really all about perfectionism. My whole life I have been a perfectionist. I am very much a member of the "if I can't do it well from the start why do it at all" club. As far back as I can remember I just wanted to succeed. It was never enough to just do well- I always had to be the best, the prettiest, the smartest. At some point a few years ago I let go of most of the competitive part of my personality. I think more than anything I just lost the energy it takes to maintain that attitude and lifestyle. I lost the energy to do as much work as it took to get an A plus in every class. I lost the energy to always be up on the news, fashion, whatever the topic so that I could know the most about it and beat everyone else. I thought these things would make me perfect, and in turn accepted. When I lost the energy to keep up with all of the perfectionist behaviors, I saw that I was still accepted when I wasn't the best, the smartest, the most up to date on information. In fact, people seemed to like me better when I could say "I don't know" and when I stopped trying to correct their mistakes.
Lately something has trigger in my life and I find myself back into those old patterns. I find myself relying so strongly on grades and knowledge to define who I am. I am back to correcting people and needing to prove that I know more than others and I HATE IT! I know that the solution is truly accepting that I am enough as I am, with my mistakes and flaws and imperfections... I know that the solution is to let love and acceptance into my life... I know the way out of these behaviors, but I can't seem to stop. Perfectionism, much like shame, is something that has never served me well, yet I continue to return to these perfectionist behaviors. I know I am not alone... I know I am not the only perfectionist and that is why I share.
:) I send to you today visions of beauty and acceptance no matter what you do or who you are.

Been A While..

Yup. It HAS been a while! I am not really sure how anyone manages to blog while in school let alone while working or rearing children! Sheesh! I sure can't manage it. So here I am, almost done with the semester, to try again...
We are planning to move in December and I have been obsessively searching for decorative ideas, furniture inspiration, and generally beautiful homes. Here are some of my favorites:


1. my teeny tiny kitchen, 2. kitchen, 3. Untitled, 4. My Kitchen

Also, in case you haven't seen it, Kelly Rae Roberts has an AMAZING home. She has a bunch of house tours up, but I think the best views are in her flickr set.

End of semester...

photo from port2port press blog

End of semester means no time to do anything. EEEK!
But I wanted to share the amazing shop that's up for a bit at Lines & Shapes- I got Volume One in a great bundle package for a beautiful girl's birthday today and my own little copy of FEAST. If you haven't experienced Lines & Shapes, please go check it out!!

Tribe

tribe |trīb|
noun
a social division in a traditional society consisting of families or communities linked by social, economic, religious, or blood ties, with a common culture and dialect, typically having a recognized leader :
• informal family : the entire tribe is coming for Thanksgiving.
• (often tribes) informal large numbers of people or animals : tribes of children playing under the watchful eyes of nurses.

This is what I want to work into... I am not so much a social creature these days, but there are those moments when nothing compares with a great pow~wow with a like minded soul. I think the main reason I am not very social is my distaste for chitchat. It is really hard for me to stand around and talk about the weather or irrelevant stories. I'm just not into it. I'm into what matters. I'm into what you're really thinking and what's really going on. I'm not about the surface standard conversations. I'm about real conversation. I'm about tribe.
What about you?

Lazy Sunday Favorites

1. Untitled, 2. sunday chores, 3. before, 4. dark corners

I am loving images of domesticity lately. I am loving everything kitchen, everything cozy, everything candlelit, everything that reminds me of childhood and cozy Sundays at home making a second thanksgiving dinner. After spending the "real" Thanksgiving day with Kyle (the boy)'s family, my mom and I are making today our family's Thanksgiving day. It is cozy, rainy, and we have already put up our Christmas decorations, but it is Thanksgiving nonetheless.

Holiday SHOPping

Holiday Gift Packing by SimpleSongDesigns

This year's holiday season has meant completely different things for me this year. It really (honestly) isn't about spending a million dollars on the fancy pants perfect gift for everyone I have ever known. This year, I have chosen to buy only a few gifts, make most of my gifts, and really support others through my purchases. A lot of this has come from online shops filled with handmade goods. I think anything homemade has a special feel to it and, to be honest, makes my heart a little more full knowing my gifts were not at the expense of others (as in, corporate America and its effects on humanity). Here is a list of some of my favorite shops:
Camilla Engman - i am in love with her 2009 calendar
Stephanie Congdon Barnes - her little creatures make my biological clock tick way too quickly
Heather Smith Jones - a little bit of everything you might want at the holidays
Port2Port Press - it's all good... really... so is mav's card society
Abby Try Again - her images are breathtaking
Hello Handmade Paperie - everything beautiful on paper, especially the Dandelion Calendar
Simple Song Designs - gorgeous paper goods
Simply Photo - gorgeous images of life as it really is

needing to hide for a while...

Feeling the need to go incognito for a bit... This is the amazing Seasonal Secret Spy Disguise and I love it. After a heartbreaking trip to Target this morning I decided I am done shopping for Christmas and I am severely needing to hide out for a bit.

as an introduction: I am planning to use this space to share things with the world. I will be posting websites, photos, stories, books, and many more things that tickle my fancy. I hope you enjoy.