I have been sitting, processing, dealing a lot lately with my issues of competition, possession, shame, and perfection. I am not quite ready to write about any of it in detail as I just started processing it all, but I am seeing more and more that somewhere along the line I was taught or learned that I had to be the best, I had to stand out, I had to be perfect. I don't remember ever being fed this idea, in fact, my parents raised me with nothing but unconditional love and support. I am digging back to try to see where this may have been planted to no avail. I am however, more clearly seeing the way it plays out in my life today. I can more clearly see the pain it causes not only for myself for but other people as well. I know I am not alone in these beliefs, but it is so rare that anyone ever discusses it that I can't help but feel a little alone in the feelings. I am seeing people that are learning to stand up and say "you are expecting too much from me" or "that is more than I can feasibly do right now." I am seeking them out and I am finding a bit of comfort there.

Really the whole point of all this was to say that my friend Andrea has gotten me so into this book, I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't) and it is INCREDIBLE.